life lessons.

"Accidents happen." "As long as everyone was okay." *sigh* seriously the worst day of my life. I keep replaying the few seconds in my head and I can't help but beat myself up over and over again. It really freaking sucks knowing that it could have been avoided in so many ways. I have just added another brick of stress on my parents. Now whenever I see other Tubbys, it makes me super duper sad =[ Two weeks until we get reunited, let's see if I can actually drive Tubby again. Sunday was painful. I was so close to my destination..so freaking close.....Seriously have been so out of it since the accident, everyone keeps asking me why I'm so spacey and down. Maybe because the fact that I collided into another car and all I can hear are tire screeches and a big bang. I know people have been in worst accidents but the fact that it was MY fault makes everything so much worst. Could have been avoided.



So, I took out a $2000 loan yesterday. No fun. I really hope I won't regret this in the future. But looking at how things are, it was really necessary.
Got my French midterm back, no bueno. C is for CRAP. Boys are stupid. Period. Got a 92% on my Italian test. Not good enough. Step it up. I have another test tomorrow. Blech. No fun.
People will get mad at you and you will get mad at them, that's just how life goes. It's just a matter of when you decide to forgive each other and leave the past in the past. Forgive&Learn.
I told Flowers that I felt like I needed to go on a diet and he was all for it. Hmph. Can't wait to get more hours for work. That can't happen until I finish summer school though. Why are these two weeks going by so much slower than the last three weeks!? ugh My room is a complete disaster. I need to clean it but there's seriously no where to put everything. Blech. I want to go to another Coldplay concert. It was the most amazing experience ever! Ok, it's 11:08, that means its bed time. Good night.

bad day,

I hate having bad days. Especially when it's over stupid things.
I hate it when people are mad at me.
I hate it when people pick on me.
I hate it when people joke around, and I take it seriously.
I hate feeling like I'm not wanted or loved.
I hate letting things get to me.
I hate being the target.
I hate messing up.
I hate it when I joke around, and people take it seriously.
I hate having to say sorry.
I hate being vulnerable.

shopping

Shopping ruins lives. hahaha i spent ridiculous amounts of money this weekend and almost $100 of it went to forever 21. someone is definitely on the same boat as me. =[
i hope my parents dont get mad since it IS their money.

36%

I tried giving blood yesterday and it was the first time I was turned away. I only had 36% of my red blood cells, when I needed 38%. I was quite frustrated. ugh.

So here I am, at work, not doing my Italian homework even though my final is tomorrow. No big deal.

So yesterday, a really good friend and I had dinner and during dinner she told me she had this huge secret that she's been holding in for about 5 months now. At first, she told me that she couldn't say anything and that it was a BIG DEAL. And then of course, she tells me after making me SWEAR that I won't tell anyone else. I don't know what it is but people seem to love telling me all their secrets. So, she tells me that she has been in this relationship with a mutual friend of ours since february and that the person that she has been claiming to be talking to doesn't even exist and that it was a made up name the whole time because they didn't want anyone knowing about the relationship (it's super complicated and I understand why they would do it). I was seriously SHOCKED. Then she pretty much tells me EVERYTHING and then everything just started to make so much sense. So you're probably like, what's the point of this? My point is that she was the one person I felt like I could relate to in that relationships weren't for us and that being single was okay and that all boys fail and out of the blue I find out that she's been in a relationship with this guy for the past 5 months?! She's so happy though and I guess that gives me hope that there are good guys out there. So she's added onto the list of friends with significant others. ugh


GRADE UPDATES.
Italian
90
95
87
85
87
lowest test score will be dropped. final tomorrow. eff.

Sociology
Paper #1- B+
Paper #2- B+
Paper #3- A-
I turned in a paper today and I'm really hoping I get an A so that I can possibly pull off an A- in the class. We had our last class today and my professor gave out certificates of Perfect Attendance. HILARIOUS. I got one :)

I'm going home on Saturday and I'm not really sure if I'm excited or not. We'll see what happens.


peace!

love. ha

I am happy to say that I am so content with being single for the first time in my life. I'm sure all my friends can say that I am the most relationship-dependent person ever and that I always say that I "need" to be in a relationship, however, things are different now! I use to feel like I couldn't be happy without a significant other and that there was always a missing spot if I wasn't with anyone but I've come to realize that that is complete bull crap. Maybe its just the fact that I have been so freaking busy all of spring quarter and now all of summer that my sole reason for not being able to be in a relationship is because "i don't have time." However, now I ask myself, am I just filling my relationship void with activities like school and work because I am afraid of being in a relationship? I mean now that the opportunity has risen...twice, I try to avoid it at all costs? Why? But whatever. I'm not a casual dater, I don't have time, I don't want to commit, I'm a heartbreaker. You've heard it once, you'll hear it again. "Date at your own risk."

So, yesterday was Independence Day! It started with me waking up at C-los' because I crashed there the night before. After only 4 hours of sleep, I had to go to work :( "Worked" from 1030-2:30. Thank goodness it was double shifted. After Greg, our manager, left So-ky let me go to the back office to take a "nap" for about half an hour. It was the most uncomfortable &most interrupted nap ever.rawr. It's okay though. The shift ended FINALLY and I went home. Rather than napping...I showered and ended up having a bbq with my housemates and their friends from home. Brian got burgers for us so we put that on the grill :) It was FABULOUS. Had a little to drink just to celebrate haha and then played b.pong =X hahah Todd & I won our first game against Brian&Adri but then lost against Joey&Lauren. booooo. After that, I went to Jessica's. Got into the pool :) After everyone left, Lucy Jessica and I stayed to have a pow wow and debrief of everything that happened the night before lol I LOVE THEM <3>

Afterwards, I went over to Lucy's to "cook" dinner. I was supposed to make Hamburger Helper however, I was definitely just the helper. Haha all I did was pour in the water and milk, and defrost the meat in the microwave. Lucy, of course, cooked everything. Anyways, the Hamburger Helper ended up tasting like crap. Haha I mean, it wasn't HORRIBLE but it definitely was questionable.

After dinner, I ended up driving Lucy to the Madrid House. I felt bad because everyone wanted me to come out again but i KNEW i shouldn't because I had to open for work the next morning. I ended up going home and falling asleep. I was in the crankiest mood last night, I felt bad for Adriana. I completely took it out on her while trying to park my stupid car in the streets. I was so angry at all the people just walking and ignoring the fact that I was trying to drive. I hate IV at night! Anyways, adri woke me up at 12:15am to drive her to work because she had been pulled over that night because her headlight or something was blown out and got a fix it ticket. Soooo, I drove her. I was seriously falling asleep behind the wheel. I got home and KNOCKED OUT. I don't even remember sleeping! I woke up at 5:47am to get ready for work. Got to work. Angelica was at the desk, Adri was napping on the couches in the lobby (they worked the grave shift) Angelica let me sleep until 7 until the overlap was over. Adri got me coffee THANK GOODNESS. I swear, I can't function in the morning without caffeine. Oh no. After only 2 days, I have become ADDICTED, no longer dependent.

I get off work at 11 and then work again from 2:00-6:00pm. I have so much homework too. :( ugh. Haven't gone to mass in over a month. Gosh. And the hell starts over tomorrow. ugh.

GRADE UPDATES!! :)

Italian:

Test #1- 90%

Test #2- 95%

Test #3- 85%

Test #4- took it on Thursday. get grade back tomorrow. Probably got an A-/B+

Soc 108ch

Paper #1- B+

must do well.......

Okay, my shift is over in half an hour. yay! didn't get any homework done. fml. lol :) Alright, take care :)

newb.

7 years with Xanga. I believe it's time for a change. We'll see how this goes.

Summer has been hell on wheels. Classes from 9:30-11:45, 12:30-3:00, 4:30-6:30. And then once the weekend hits, its work work work. Worrying about money has never been so stressful.

I think I am officially DEPENDENT on coffee. I wouldn't say "addicted" because I don't get any sort of side effects if I don't have it but dang, 4 shots of coffee really does keep you alert. Who needs adderall when you have caffeine? :)

I'm sad that I won't be going home for July 4th because I have work from 6:45am-11:00am Saturday. I really really want to though. Maybe I'll just go for the heck of it and come back Sunday morning for work.

I really love summer here in SB. Even though people say they're bored and such, I feel like I've been quite busy and productive. If I'm not in class, I'm working. If I'm not working, I'm studying in the library. If I'm not in the library, I'm eating. If I'm not eating, I'm sleeping. I rarely ever see my friends but when I do, it's been great adventures :] It makes me appreciate them so much more :)

I LOVE MY HOUSE. Even though I'm RARELY ever there, when I am, it's been super good. Right now, its Adriana & me in our room, Todd & Brian in their room, and Johnny in his. Everythings been super chill except sharing ONE bathroom with 4 other people has been a little challenging haha I'm so sad that I'll only be living with them for the summer. Grocery shopping has been a pain in the behind. I freaking hate it. Who knew grocery was so expensive?!


It's been exactly a year since camp & I freaking miss it so much. I really wish I had more time and more summers so that I can go back, maybe even just to visit :( Seeing all these camps at SB has been making me super nostalgic. Good freaking times.

I feel like its time for a reunion!



Okay, I should be working on my homework. Peace out!